Suddenly, Cat

Warning: pure crack, OOC, possible loss of braincells, random crossovers

 

 

Not in a single day in his life he knows peace. Not ever since that little bastard happened.

He groggily cracks his eyes open at the persistent sensation of being poked by a furry paw. He can faintly make out the white and grey form of his cat sitting on his chest while glaring down at him.

Every day, not failing, at four o'clock sharp. He no longer has the need to set an alarm at this point.

The cat continues to poke his cheek. "..I get it. Stop it already." It jumps off when he starts to move, now sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed. An annoyed 'meow' followed shortly after.

Sigh. He's definitely not the master of this house anymore.

 

It was about 2 month ago if he remembered it right; it was a bright sunny, normal Thursday in the second week of the month. There was nothing out of place. He went to work as he normally do in the morning, then got off at 5 pm as always.

Absolutely fine.

That is until he got home.

At first, he thought a burglar broke in - windows smashed with broken pieces of glass scattered on the floor, various items in disarray. It took him a whole minute to realise that he lives on the 4th floor and it'll take a pretty dedicated burglar to break in from the window. So what was it?

Then a sound came from somewhere inside, from the direction of the kitchen.

And again.

What kind of burglar ransack people's kitchen instead of their belongings?

The sound becomes louder.

The moment he steps into the vicinity the sound stops. Under the dim lighting, he can see what looks like a small creature perched on the dining table. Another step and said creature snapped around to face him with ominous glowing eyes. He immediately reached for the light switch and bright light floods the space, revealing the creature's true form--!

 

A cat.

 

Blink. Ryuga rubs his eyes a bit to help clear it out. Another blink.

Nope, still a cat. That remained unfazed.

What the hell?

"How did you get in here?" He asked out loud. The cat simply stares ahead, probably wondering if he has lost his mind for trying to interrogate a cat.

He did kick it out of his house soon after, but alas, the cat gave no shit and returned a few days later. And it never left ever since.

 

So that's how he ends up having a cat. Or rather, the cat has him. Yeah.

He didn't name the cat - simply calling it either 'cat' or 'bastard', as it seems to be.

The little bastard spends most of the day outside, and comes back whenever it wants to. How inconsiderate. But then again, aren't that how male cats usually are?

Speaking of that-

His house is now the bastard's territory. Including himself. Yes. It basically refuses to sit anywhere else but on him, gets its fur all over his clothes, and hisses at guests, or anyone that gets too close to him.

Sigh.

 

*

 

"Ryuga, what's wrong?" The sudden call breaks him out of his previous activity, turning around to face his neighbour.

"Ah, Zero. Nothing, just..-the little bastard haven't been home for almost a month already." And he's getting fidgety.

"Is that so. You tried looking for it?"

"I did but I couldn't find him anywhere around here." The other man now sports a similarly worried expression before seemingly struck by something.

"Actually, my cat hasn't come back for quite some time too."

"Eh really? Since when?"

"About a month and a half. I tried looking for it too but couldn't found it. But the big guy probably won't be in too much trouble."

Well, honestly speaking, the bastard probably won't have any problem too considering a lot of thing. But he just can't help being worried. That's just how he is (he gets attached really fast).

And then it turns out that the entire neighbourhood apparently lost their cats in the same manner within the same time period. Strange. Did an alien swoop by and beamed them up or what?

"Ah, mine hasn't come home too. He's always around and suddenly he's not. It's feels…lonely." So did Ryo who is living in the house around the corner of his street told him as he forlornly looked towards the top of his gate (his cat's favourite spot).

"Yeah, mine's gone too. But he always run off anyways. Argh! Why am I getting myself worked up over that crazy bastard!" Said Ichigo who end up bursting in frustration. Last night's shift must've been tough.

"Uh, well, yeah, me too. But he's a my pace kind of cat so, he'll probably be fine wherever he is." Gai was probably the least concerned out of the ones he met, that is before he went back to his previous spot in front of his door staring off into the distance, occasionally calling for said cat in a sombre tone.

Even the photo studio he usually passed on his way to work gone through the same thing and now they all looks rather melancholic.

What the hell is going on here?

 

*

 

It's been another few weeks since then, and there's still nothing.

Well, for him that is.

 

Earlier today his mother dropped by. It is a normal thing between them; since he can't take holidays as often, so his mother would come visit from time to time. And often time she would come bringing food.

But you know how mothers are - she tends to bring food enough for the entire neighbourhood. He eats a lot on daily basis but even he could not finish that much food. So here he is standing in front of his neighbour's door meaning to share some of it.

A click and the door swings open..-

W-what?

A man. No, no- a giant stood in the doorway, glaring down at him.

"What d'ya want?" The man's voice rumbled.

What- what is going on? Who is this person?

Tall, no huge, dark skinned man with red-ink tattoos. Yakuza? Did a yakuza get to his friend while he wasn't aware??

"Oh, Ryuga? What's up?" Come said friend's voice from behind the giant. "Oi, Belial! Get the heck out of the doorway. Do you really have to glare down every single thing that passed around here every day?

"Tch. Fine." The man then moves away with a low growl.

"Sorry about that. He's...strongly territorial. Anyways, what is it?"

Shaking himself out of his shock, he goes back to matter at hand. "Nothing. My mom came by earlier with food. Here's some."

"Ah, thanks. How is she doing nowadays?"

"She's doing good as usual, and her garden is steadily growing bigger too."

"That's good to hear. Send her my regards too."

"Okay."

Having been done, he drifts back home. What's going on here? Since when did that man lived there and why haven't he seen him at all before. From how it looks, the man seems to have been living there for quite some time too. Also, why does he feels weirdly familiar?

And that wasn't the only strange thing that happened that week.

 

~

 

"Oi, wake up." A grunt. No. A persistent poking in his cheek. "Oi." More poking.

A soft groan. Is it 4 am already? He cracks his eyes open with much difficulties. Also, who the hell is poking my face at this kind of ti--

And now he is fully awake.

"For how much longer are you going to sleep?"

 

.

 

"No, he must've forgotten that I return today. He's honestly kind of stupid like that."

"Oh, I see. So, there is absolutely no problem then?"

"Why, yes, officer. Of course."

 

.

 

"Do you really need to call the police?" The man - intruder - now looking towards Ryuga with a raised eyebrow.

"What else I'd do after waking up to a naked man straddling me in bed? And who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?!" This is too much. He wakes up and instantly chaos ensues. And said man somehow procured a bathrobe out of somewhere. He can swear he has never seen it before.

"What? Can't I come back from time to time? It's my house too."

"Since when?" The man simply points towards the newly repaired window.

"Since I came in through that window."

What? What the fu--

It is then it hits him.

Light grey, yellow eyes. That annoyed look.

"Are you trying to tell me that you were the cat that broke in last time?" His voice gradually climbs in pitch from the sheer incredulousness of it. Is he finally going mad? The man only mildly grimaced from the high pitch.

"Do you have to be so loud about it? Who else do you think I am?"

This is definitely too much for his brain to handle. Is that smoke he smells? Slumping into the couch, dropping his head into his hands, exhausted from the sudden developments. Glancing towards the other person, he sees that the other takes the opposite end, and is now somehow naked again.

"What are you doing?" He had reflexively moved further to his end of the couch. This man is not safe.

"Sitting. Can't you see?"

"No--! Put some clothes on, bastard!"

"Why should I? I'm a cat, and you didn't complain before."

Because you used to be a furball! At lost dealing with this man; Ryuga had to hold himself down in fear he might commit a murder. He'll go crazy at this point.

Then suddenly his phone vibrates inside his pants pocket. He picks the call up without looking.

"Yes? Ah, sorry. I'm not feeling well today so...Yes, thank you. I'll be in tomorrow." A click and the line died. He was so caught up he didn't even realise he missed going to work.

Now what is he supposed to do?

 

*

 

The days goes on though most definitely not like how it used to. Life goes on.

So far, he can safely say that the pervert that made home in his house is the furry bastard. Even if his brain still feels like it's cranking itself really hard to accept that reality. Of course, cats don't just magically turn into humans ever. This is not fairy tale.

Back on track; well, for one, they have the same habit. Which is not a good thing, at all.

He didn't really mind it then but now..-

He feels like he's going to be crushed under this (now too large) bastard's weight. How is he this heavy? The other's not even that much larger than him. Dead weight, perhaps. With much struggle, he finally managed to push the other off of him after some time. And the man is still naked.

 

Sigh.

 

Not just that too.

 

He was really just minding his business when suddenly a hand gripped his wrist, followed by a hard tug that sent him tumbling backward. And he's suddenly in the other's lap.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I realised that I'm a bit too large now to fit in your lap so I guess this could be an acceptable compromise." Ryuga would've punched that shit-eating grin off of the man's face had he not hold both of his arm down first.

 

He can't even let his guard down, not even for one second because the moment he does, he would get assaulted.

There have been multiple occasions where the other man would shove his hands under his clothing and straight up gropes him. Then again, the bastard used to knead on his butt.

No, no, he still does. In fact, he's doing it, right now.

"Can you stop doing that?"

"No. It feels nice." Another squeeze.

 

Besides his mounting stress level, he starts to notice other things too. Apparently, it was not an isolated case, because for one, everyone else who also lost their cat strangely gained a roommate that is suspiciously similar to their respective cats.

He's 90% sure that the giant yakuza dude that had taken room in Zero's home was the nasty large maine coon that used to live there.

Gai somehow gained a rather posh-looking housemate, that comes and goes as he wishes. And he looks a lot happier now too.

There's a scary looking dark-skinned man with slick backed black hair standing guard outside Ryo's house, right by the spot where his cat always sits (and glares at passers-by).

Ichigo is still very stressed out; now can be seen dragging back a tall blue-haired man screaming for a fight ("MY BLOOD THIRST FOR BATTLE!!1" "I JUST GOT BACK FROM A 30-HOUR ED SHIFT YOU FUCKER!").

And the photo-studio have an addition in the form of a tall brunette with a pink camera ("Oh, you're the one that passed by here every day."). Probably also worth mentioning that he looks almost exactly like the bastard back home. They're probably related in some way.

 

Suppose it's like what people say - you lose something and you gained another? Something like that. Though he couldn't quite make out exactly what did he gain.

 

*

 

Inhale, exhale. Ah, a moment of peace and quiet; the bastard (Jinga, as it turns out he actually has a name) is out on his cat-people business, whatever that is. At least he can finally get off of his high alert mode.

Work is hectic as it always does, so now he's slumped in his couch while staring off into the distance.

Ah, doesn't feel like moving. But he needs to take a shower. Maybe a little later. Food? Later, too.

Tick..tick..tick..

A glance, five minutes to six pm. Blink. Six thirty.

He shot off the couch like it burned him. Shit, he needs to get going fast. The bastard's usually home by seven nowadays.

Within the next five minutes, he's already inside the bathroom and began to deflate again. Still not enough energy.

 

Sigh. Whatever, maybe he could just take his time--

 

A loud smack heard as a hand hits the wall right beside his head, and at the same time a hard body pressed against him from behind.

"Here you are. I've been looking for you." A low whisper next to his ears. How the hell did he got in? "The bathroom door wasn't locked so I thought..-" Ah, he must've been completely out of it to forgot that one thing.

"Looks like I got back at the right time."

"Stellar timing, bastard." He really has no energy to deal with this man at the moment. Which also mean he is in grave danger.

Now there's a hand tracing down his very naked flank to his abdomen. "Why don't you wash me too since I just got back myself?"

"Do it yourself." A soft chuckle reaches him. What? He is serious about that.

"Is that so.." And suddenly the man pressed in even closer. What?!--

"-If so then, I guess I could help you with it instead? You know, returning the favour."

 

Well, he's fucked.

 

Looks like he'd need to apply for an emergency leave tomorrow.