And I make my World (home) with You

warning: canon divergence, isolation, suicidal thoughts/discussion of death, angst with fluff/hopeful ending

When he came to, the first thing he saw was the endless grey sky. Slowly he blinked his eyes; his body felt heavy like it's made of lead, and he didn't feel like moving.

 

Where is this? What happened?

 

The last thing he remembered was a fight. It was like any other days; he was locked in a fight with one of the monsters. What was it called again? Alas the name was lost to him. There was too many of them and too little time to spend on trivial stuffs. Looking around he spotted some of his seniors similarly busy fighting against their own opponents.

It was then that he came across..-

He just barely managed to sense the attack. It missed him by a hairline. (..Missed?)

The single attack hit both them and the monsters. Clearly, he didn't care about any of them. There wasn't any space at all; they engage each other almost immediately. One thing he remembered from that fight was how odd it was. The other man just kept attacking in silence; it was so jarring that it disrupted his pace quite a bit. Though he figured that there was nothing else to be said that the other man hadn’t already did – he will not return, no matter what. He won’t go back on his words.

He didn't know how long the battle lasted. He vaguely heard someone shouting his name before everything turns white.

And here he is. Vaguely he can feel headache throbbing at the back of his head as he blinks open his eyes. It was too bright, it took some time for him to adjust to his new surroundings. Testing his movements; looks like he’s fine, though the effect of the battle is clearly wearing him down. He can move but he probably won’t last long against that level of attack.

This is bad.

He kept on looking ahead - where have I seen this before? - so a thought flitted across his mind. It seems so familiar yet something is greatly off about it.

 

"You're up?"

 

The question had him promptly looking to the side, only to be greeted by the sight of a person he least expects to see.

"..Mikage? What are you doing here?"

Mikage simply stared his way, watching. The man is sitting a distance away, smoking as usual like they haven’t been locked in a fight to the death just moments before. Unnerved by the heavy silence, he tried searching the other man's eyes for clues. Unfortunately, there was nothing to be found.

Time and time again he tried but he can never tell what goes on in Mikage's mind. His mismatched eyes plainly reflected the grey cloudless sky, and only then he realised it.

 

The endless sky with no sun, and the wide plane of desert extending beyond the visible horizon.

 

"We're currently inside a closed off dimension; somewhere at the edge of time and space. It's natural that I'm here."

A dimension that exists between the ridges of time and space. Like the one Tsukuyomi pulled him into that one time. The one he made to imprison Judo.

Right, Mikage has the same ability now.

But he still couldn't brush off that feeling of unease.

"Why?" Why. Rhetorical. He knows what this all mean, why this happened. After all, Tsukuyomi already tried something similar before.

 

Why keep him alive?

 

"This way they can't use my powers, and they can't use you as the key to revive Judo." Still, his question remained unanswered, even when the other man knew perfectly well of its subtext.

"Then what of outside? The fight isn't over yet."

"None of my business. Besides, aren't the Kamen Riders there to take care of things?"

Mikage is right. However, that doesn't make it feel better. He can't help but feel like he had ran away from everything. Digging his fingers into the loose sands, he kept his frustration from welling up.

"No matter how hard you try you won't be able to escape this prison. This is your personal hell."

 

Willing the fight to seep away from his body, he lay back down on the ground. Is it alright, to leave things this way? He doesn't know, he never really understood much of the why and how of everything that decided to happen. An outsider might just call it a chain of unfortunate events. It wasn't anything like that at all.

 

To him, he had been stuck in hell since a long time ago.

 

If so then what about Mikage himself? Did he feel the same after all? The man had always bore deep hatred towards human. Or perhaps it was resentment instead. The feeling of irreversible disappointment over repeated betrayals.

 

Breathing in deep the familiar scent of tobacco caught his sense. It's one of the little details that have hammered itself home in the corners of his mind. Looking up, he can see Mikage facing away, eyes off to the distance.

How strange. The grey sky, grey sands. His snowy white hair and his customary black leather jacket. Yet he kept the red scarf. The only point of colour in his visual field; a stark contrast to the monochromatic background. The deep scarlet that reminded him of his own transformed self.

Why bother reverting to his old appearance now?

What does it supposed to mean?

 

Enveloped in silence, the questions keep piling up. None of those he has any answer to. He had nowhere else to channel his frustrations other than to keep on distracting himself with something. And at the moment only the two of them exists in this plane. This in turn brought him back to the source of his confusion.

 

Sigh.

What to do now?

 

 

*

 

 

Even facing away, he can still feel that steady gaze on him. Bright green at the corner of his eye, almost unblinking. Even when he keeps telling himself to not be bothered, he still ends up doing the opposite.

 

"..Why keep me alive?"

 

The one question that has been hanging in the air since the start of the conversation. It was barely a whisper yet he could hear it as clearly as a shout.

 

Why?

Why?

He couldn't do it? Bullshit. He's more than capable to. That's his duty, his mission.

(Sometimes it felt more like an obsession.)

Could it be that he can't bring himself to do it? Then that truly is a point to ponder. He's sure they didn't tamper with his brain far enough to interfere with his judgement.

"..I wonder. Maybe it was just on a whim."

At the edge of his field, he can see the other man slowly pushes himself into a sitting position. Sensing that there wouldn't be any further elaboration to the previous topic, he simply turns around, facing the same direction as Mikage.

 

 

"-Ah, I did it..-"

 

Random mumblings suddenly caught his attention, eyes flicking towards the other man. Within the split second that he saw the surprised look on Murasame's face, the sounds of wave reached him. Turning back ahead, indeed now it has transformed into the wide-open sea. Along with the waves crashing onto the shore, gentle sea breeze blows past.

When did this-?

 

"Sorry if that surprised you. It just felt a little empty so I thought.." And he still has the audacity to look sheepish about it, scratching the back of his head with an awkward smile.

He turned back, stood up and took off towards the shoreline. He stopped just before he got there to take off his shoes and roll up his pants leg.

 

"Wah, it's cold-!"

 

Does this man not realise the situation he's in?

So Mikage thought to himself as he watches said man frolics in the waters.

 

This man - a perfect cyborg, the one that should have risen to become god of the new world - somehow, he is still very much human on the inside. That is probably the reason why BADAN always kept him clean of his memories. Though strangely, him now doesn't feel that different from him then.

 

He was pushed out of his own thoughts when suddenly a cold finger pokes into his cheek. He looks upward to find a pair of curious green eyes peering down. How distracted was him to not even hear the man coming?

"What are you thinking of?"

You. The single word brought to mind pointless romance scene he'd seen many years ago. But it is nothing similar; however true the answer itself may be. One he wouldn't outright admit.

 

"Mikage! Come on, don't just sit there and brood!"

He's not. "I am not broodi-"

His reply is unfortunately cut short by a splash of cold seawater to the face.

This man-

"The one attacks first wins!"

Very well then.

He stands up, shrugging off his jacket before roughly tossing it to the side. If that's what you want.

 

 

---

 

An inordinate amount of time passed by unnoticed while they were running and chasing around in the waters. In this place where the sky lacks the sun, it's rather impossible to tell the passage of time. Time itself might as well be non-existent here.

They only slowed down when fatigue starts to seep in.

How is he feeling tired?

The thought crossed his mind as he lay on the sandy shores. The sea breeze felt much colder than at first thanks to their wet clothing.

How is he feeling any of this?

A blink and only then he noticed that the sky is no longer grey. Endless blue, like a clear summer sky, and the sand's it distinct pale shade. He turns to his right to look towards his companion.

Eyes closed, chest moving in a steady rise and fall. Sleeping? There's no telling. They're made in the same way, and sleep is simply something to aid in the process of recovery. Continuous sound of waves crashing in the background completed the picture. One that of serenity.

And this place that was supposed to be a prison, felt a lot more alive than the real world.

 

"..Really, what are you thinking of? I can still feel your eyes on me even from inside the dream."

Again, the same question. What's so interesting about that?

"Why do you want to know?"

"Nothing.., just curious. I can never tell, not even back then, and certainly not now."

He's long past having a debate with himself at this point. He might as well just say it out.

"-You."

"Eh?" The other man turned his way, bewildered.

"You asked me what I'm thinking of." Slowly his words reached the other man, but still not quite. He kept his steady gaze, silently reinforcing the statement.

"What do you-" The man rolled over to prop himself up on his elbows. The question just partially left his lips when the realisation dawned upon him. Eyes gradually widening as the meaning of the answer made itself clear, followed by the splash of red blooming across his cheeks. "-Oh."

 

For once, Murasame averted his eyes.

And now Mikage couldn't stop himself from staring.

 

After spending quite a long time together, that is the first time he'd seen the other man like this. It seems to have affected some part of his brain to a certain degree.

 

Perhaps he had always liked red.

 

"You're still staring." Glittering emerald momentarily glanced his way before darting away seconds later.

"Gotta keep them on you. Who knows where'd you gone off to when I'm not looking."

"It's not like I can run away.." Steadfastly refusing to meet his eyes, the reply came out sounding somewhat petulant.

It felt like how it was back then; trying to get to know the man before him all over again. Both the first time and the second one, he had been very..robotic. Expressionless, doesn't speak unless necessary, and orders are absolute. He's certainly more machine than man then. Now, it feels like looking at a weird doppelganger, accept that it's really one and the same person. However, he had always been pure. Despite everything that happened, everything that he did, there still remained a kind of innocence in him.

 

 

"..I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"If you hadn't taken that hit that time, it wouldn't have end up this way. You wouldn't have to go through repeated remodelling."

"Then you would've died."  I couldn't allow that.

"Won't that be for the better?"

Perhaps. "That will only set them back for a while at most. And I'd probably undergo an upgrade sooner or later anyway."

He keeps on watching, observing the changes in the other man's expression. On the contrary, he had always been able to read Murasame quite well. A skill that probably owed more to his time in the Interpol. What was missing in his expression is told by his body language. Just like now.

He didn't even bother hiding his frustration.

It's among the things that he couldn't understand. With BADAN, concepts such as comrades and friends are considered foreign and unneeded, and thus were naturally discarded. They're merely individuals gathered for a cause (though most of them are, decidedly, selfish). Somehow, the most perfect out of all of them was also the most flawed. With or without his memories.

"Why do you bother yourself with that so much? It was a natural course of action."

"Why? Because you're my friend." And he said that in a very matter-of-fact way, like they haven't been made and trained by an evil organization to subjugate the entire world. It would be a lie to say that it's not getting to his nerves at least a little bit.

He pushes himself off the ground to hover over Murasame, indirectly pinning the other man with his presence.

"Friend? And yet, it's fine for you to die?"

For a moment, he seemed at lost for words. "I've never wanted to hurt anyone. If it wasn't for you, I won't be alive now,..-"

Finally, those eyes snapped back towards Mikage with the force of his entire being.

"-And I wouldn't mind returning it back to you."

He tried to look for any signs of deceit, but there was none. Despite what Murasame just said was the verbal equivalent of holding a gun to his own head and leaving the trigger in your hand.

You never make things easy for me.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to do this after all. He’ll break trying to reason with this man. However, it's already too late to regret his decision. They're stuck in this hell together now. If so then, he might as well make use of what he had brought onto himself.

 

 

He leaned down a bit further, eyes narrowing. "So, you're saying it's all up to me?"

A curt nod.

"..And I can do whatever I want to you?"

A pause. His eyes widen in mild panic a second later. Looks like that managed to get across fast enough. Eyes darting to the side.

"..Before that, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

Eyes back on him, though looking like he's bracing himself from an imminent impact. "What do you intend to do to me?"

 

*

 

He did mean that, though. Not once, but twice. If Mikage hadn't saved him, he wouldn't be here, alive and kicking. He didn't remember much of the first time, given that he himself actually had gone into a complete remodelling at the time. But the second one..,

He won't forget that ever. He couldn't. And he was angry towards the Riders, although now he understands very well why they did that.

True enough, him dying probably wouldn't affect BADAN's plan that much. But still..

(Then again, they even managed to clone his sister somehow without his knowledge. Certainly, they can do the same with him.)

Being stuck in this place, there's not much options available to him. And unlike Judo, he's quite sure he’s not immortal despite BADAN's work into making him practically indestructible.

What else?

Of course, Mikage begs to differ.

And he's not sure what kind of option he is left with him more or less pinned to the ground like this.

 

Well yes, it's all up to you. You did create this makeshift world to keep me inside.

"..And I can do whatever I want to you?"

Yes..-

Wait,-

-What?

 

..Technically, yes.

 

His brain stuttered at that point, his mind tripped on its own imaginary feet after running miles per hour. The proximity, the looks in those eyes, the drop in his voice.

The implications.

Maybe he should've put more thought before saying that. He did not mean for it to go that way. Not at all.

No, wait. Maybe he's jumping too fast into this. Yeah, maybe that's it.

 

Right?

 

"..Before that, can I ask you something?"

"What?" Unmoving, unyielding. Still speaking in that tone and it's not helping.

"What do you intend to do to me?" Certainly not whatever he had previously suggested since Mikage isn't keen on following it through. Vaguely, he starts to feel quite naked under those heated gazes. There's a growing dread gnawing in his guts. If only he can somehow use his hologram to make an escape..

A period of silence filled only by the sound of their breathing.

Slowly, Mikage eyes travelled downwards before snapping back up to look right through him.

"Why do you want to know?"

He just got the feeling of being a deer eyed by a very hungry tiger.

And there's chills running down his spine.

I'll be eaten!

 

*

 

It's certainly a feat to be able to go through several shades of red in the span of several minutes. Murasame is now effectively as red as ZX and he's starting to feel quite worried.

He didn't expect it to work so well. Maybe a little too well.

Well, they're stuck in this weird uninhabited place together, alone. It's just one of the possible outcomes. Also, it's not a strange thing to happen seeing as how they're practically already inseparable back then.

He thought he had rid himself of this annoyingly human habit. Looks like he's wrong.

Might as well go through with it.

 

Just as he moves in to close the distance, a pair of hands shot up to push his face away.

"Wait! Wait- wait a minute!"

"What now?"

Eyes shifting around, face still red, voice half-hysterical.

"We can't- " His voice dropped to a whisper, "-We can't do that outdoor." He said that like he's worried someone might overhear.

"..You do realise that we're alone here, right?"

"Yeah, but..I'm too conscious about it."

Sigh.

"Wait a bit, I'll try something." Then he closes his eyes, brows furrowing in deep concentration. After probably about a minute or so, he blinks open.

"Did it work?"

Mikage raised a brow in response. Did what worked-- Oh, that.

There in his line of sight is yet another thing that just materialised out of thin air.

"If you're talking about that house on the bank over there, then yeah, it worked."

"Really?" He twisted around to get a good look, before promptly crawling out.

"..You really know how to work in this place." Making things pop out here and there like that. You might as well be the god here.

"I've been to a similar place before, so.." Again, that sheepish smile. "If I think it's real, it'll be."

Such a simple logic.

"Also, it's a world that you made. It'll be sad if it's left empty."

To think those simple words could shock him speechless. And as simple as that, the man effortlessly derailed his plans once again. Though surprisingly this time, he finds that he doesn't mind it at all. Maybe it’s all for the best that it turns out this way, for both of them, in some way or another.

 

"Let's go, Mikage." He stands up, lightly brushing himself off of the fine sands.

"Where to?"

Then he turned around with a soft smile.

"Home, of course."

 

Home, of course.

 

Home. When was the last time he had one? Thought of one? It never felt that important to him, simply a liability, a weak point. But there's nothing else to fight against here, and the one he's stuck with wouldn't use that against him. Perhaps it would be fine to make home here in this world.

 

And when he realised it, it's no longer as bleak as he first thought it would be.

 

An eternal hell.

 

An eternity in 'hell' doesn't sound so bad at all.

 

Let's go home.